Ruminations on the Life of Anime Charas as Seen by a North American Anime
Fan.
I am a terrible, terrible person with a twisted sense of humor, and have entirely
too much time on my hands.
Heroine
--Though most females fen in North America wish to strangle me when I do
something really stupid, I am still the heroine and I am incapable of
derailing the required happy ending.
--My chest does defy gravity, but I might want to get a breast reduction
in the future. All that weight on my back is going to get painful.
--No matter what, the hero will always love me. There's also a good chance
that the villain of the piece will
at least lust after me.
--Most yaoi fans will hate me, because I stand between them and their
favorite pairing. However, the suits know and affirm my self-worth.
--Oh, like you wouldn't scream when attacked by the Big Nasty Monster!
--I might not be as beautiful as the villainess, but I am going to win.
Hero
--I might be as dumb as bricks, but I'm going to win, because my strength is
the strength of 20 and my heart is pure.
--No matter how poorly I treat the heroine, she will always love me. As an
added bonus, the villainess might love me too. Let's just not discuss what
the villain feels for me.
--I get the nifty tricks/powers/unstoppable weapon.
--I can foul up the most arcane plans of the villain just by strolling down
a street.
--No matter what stupid stunt that I pull, I can't derail the happy ending.
--I might not be as interesting as the villain, but I am going to win.
--If my lover is male, then I really should go around declaiming that I am
not gay. It makes the women in North America laugh at me. I should just
accept that I am gay. If I can't accept gay, then I should try clinging to
the term "bisexual."
--I'm right, and I am going to win.
Villain
--I'm smarter and have better weapons, more troops, and the backing of
whatever semi-legal government that exists, but I am still going to lose to
the hero.
--Really, I think my reasons for everything wicked plot I hatch are
perfectly valid.
--I have the loyalty of my troops.
--If I don't have their loyalty, then I at least have their fear.
--I might be crazy, but it's an interesting crazy.
--I'm much better looking then the hero. I'm much better looking then the
heroine for that matter.
--I'm much more interesting then the hero and/or the heroine.
--I have style.
--The villainess loves me, and the heroine has a sick fascination with me.
What I have with the hero is better left to the djka.
--No matter what, I am going to lose.
Villainess
--I'm much prettier then the heroine.
--I've got it, and I flaunt it. Though, I just might want to consider
breast reduction as well.
--I have at least a marginally better reason for doing what I do. I just
didn't stumble into the situation. I strolled into it with my eyes wide open.
--I get to cause major destruction for kicks.
--My sex life with the hero would be much more interesting. For that
matter, my sex life with the villain probably pretty good too.
--But, I'm am still going to lose.
Sidekicks/Henchmen
Black Hats
--I'm either insanely devoted to my leader, or just flat out insane.
--I exist to pump up the body count.
--But at least I get to destroy stuff before I die!
White hats
--I might not get the girl, but at least I get to live.
--I have pretty good chance of being prettier, smarter and more interesting
then the hero. It's even possible that I'm prettier then the heroine.
--If I'm not pretty, smart and interesting, then I'm dumb, boring and ugly
in comparison to the hero. Such is life.
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